This is kinda-sorta adjacent to a topic I’ve been wanting to write about, so I won’t go into a lot of detail here. I agree there’s a better version of all of us, and that’s the direction we need to move There’s something bizarre and upside-down about wallowing in our imperfections.
We’re all imperfect. It’s nice to be self-aware. It’s great to accept ourselves, warts and all. But it’s weird to build an identity around our faults and… you know, basically brag about them….or, expect to be loved _for_ them and not in spite of them.
This felt like listening to a friend talk through some stuff, and I find it refreshing. Sometimes what's obvious to one person isn't obvious to another, AND every person has to learn this shit from scratch, so it needs to keep being said.
While I do think the virtue signalling (and much more going on besides here) is actually a problem for a wide variety of reasons about how we assess goodness (essentially if we start to think that what you say is what makes you good rather than what you do, it imposes far too few costs on the individual to gain moral status for moral status to matter) this was, funnily enough, my exact thought too: It's not really about the right or wrong of any of this. Do you want to be the person who is massively upset by this? It doesn't seem like a good way to live at all. Psychologically the idea that this is a healthy response to suffering and injustice is terrible. After all, the suffering and injustice is *infinite*.
I agree abt fat acceptance. People I know who are overweight have a lot more medical problems and it seems more joint replacements. They are often "mad" when told it can't be done until weight is lost. Not for looks, but for health.
Romance is a difficult one. I think you have to do it w/o much thought or you won't. That might seem crazy, but it is my experience. If you think too much abt it, you wouldn't couple up. Sure there are challenges that crop up but no one is going to be a real perfect match and even rocky relationships have positive aspects.
You don't mention religion. Lapsed Catholic here, but still 16 years of practice and thinking through one's sins each week (for confession) makes a person dwell on these all during life.
This is kinda-sorta adjacent to a topic I’ve been wanting to write about, so I won’t go into a lot of detail here. I agree there’s a better version of all of us, and that’s the direction we need to move There’s something bizarre and upside-down about wallowing in our imperfections.
We’re all imperfect. It’s nice to be self-aware. It’s great to accept ourselves, warts and all. But it’s weird to build an identity around our faults and… you know, basically brag about them….or, expect to be loved _for_ them and not in spite of them.
This felt like listening to a friend talk through some stuff, and I find it refreshing. Sometimes what's obvious to one person isn't obvious to another, AND every person has to learn this shit from scratch, so it needs to keep being said.
I really like your angle here!
While I do think the virtue signalling (and much more going on besides here) is actually a problem for a wide variety of reasons about how we assess goodness (essentially if we start to think that what you say is what makes you good rather than what you do, it imposes far too few costs on the individual to gain moral status for moral status to matter) this was, funnily enough, my exact thought too: It's not really about the right or wrong of any of this. Do you want to be the person who is massively upset by this? It doesn't seem like a good way to live at all. Psychologically the idea that this is a healthy response to suffering and injustice is terrible. After all, the suffering and injustice is *infinite*.
I agree abt fat acceptance. People I know who are overweight have a lot more medical problems and it seems more joint replacements. They are often "mad" when told it can't be done until weight is lost. Not for looks, but for health.
Romance is a difficult one. I think you have to do it w/o much thought or you won't. That might seem crazy, but it is my experience. If you think too much abt it, you wouldn't couple up. Sure there are challenges that crop up but no one is going to be a real perfect match and even rocky relationships have positive aspects.
You don't mention religion. Lapsed Catholic here, but still 16 years of practice and thinking through one's sins each week (for confession) makes a person dwell on these all during life.